If you know Thierry Garby as I do, you can hear his distinctive voice throughout this book. His keen intellect, his ready wit, Gallic charm and, above all, his passionate engagement with negotiation and mediation permeate these pages. Although he draws insights from an extraordinary variety of sources, familiar and not so familiar, the ultimate “take” is Thierry’s own. At a time of intense and growing global emphasis on the “how-to” of negotiation and mediation, this book is a unique and important contribution. In the midst of our today’s continuing Quiet Revolution in Dispute Resolution, we are confronted with many different notions about styles, strategies, tactics and techniques in the management of conflict. The special contribution of this book is to offer a very personal but informed and compelling view “from the trenches” by a seasoned legal counsellor/advocate and respected mediator and trainer who continually thinks about and reflects on his experiences, and encourages and equips us to do the same.

I first got to know Thierry Garby at the inaugural meeting of the World Forum of Mediation Centres in Brussels in the spring of 2001. The Forum, a gathering sponsored by the Union Internationale des Avocats that brought together mediators and mediation proponents from all over the globe, was the inspiration of Thierry, a distinguished member of the Paris Bar and prominent international lawyer. Although the Brussels program was outstanding, it was the very nature of the event — a coming together of individuals from widely disparate backgrounds and legal systems joined by their mutual passion for mediation of disputes — that stands out most clearly. My strongest memories of that original Forum (the first of many) are the shared meals, the wine, and most of all, the songs we sang! The Thierry Garby that you will meet in the chapters of this book was the fellow I first met in Brussels — the wide-ranging, captivating enthusiast who brings his own form of brio to all aspects of life, including negotiation and mediation. Appropriately, his primary emphasis in these pages is on the importance of emotions — the human need for love and belonging, the esteem of others and ourselves, and the often-powerful drive for self-actualization — that is, it is focused on negotiation and the heart, as opposed to the head. Reflecting his own abundant optimism and energy, he encourages us not only to approach negotiation holistically, with an appreciation of the whole persons involved (including ourselves and those with whom we deal) and of human relationships, but also to look for ways of transforming the process through the active infusion of positivity.

Those familiar with the burgeoning literature of dispute resolution will recognize many of the sources referenced in this book, including Getting to Yes, Getting Past No, the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument, the work of Roger Fisher and Daniel Shapiro, and of Christopher Moore. There are also summaries of important insights from psychology and

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psychotherapy, such as Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, Albert Mehrabian’s work forms of human communication, psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’ description of the stages of grief and Eric Berne’s transactional analysis of relationships. What is new here is Thierry Garby’s effort to assimilate and synthesize these sources into his own vision of what negotiation and mediation can be — a conception seasoned with and enlivened by a host of religious, literary, historical and cinematic references (including allusions to Buddha, Jean-Paul Sartre, Talleyrand and the filmTwelve Angry Men).

While offering a broad summary of the wide array of approaches and tactics to negotiation and mediation, Garby consistently promotes the centrality of emotions as the “gas and the engine” of conflicts, and the critical importance of dealing with and using emotions as constructive elements in dispute resolution. He decries the limitations of positional bargaining and instead advocates a systematic approach (the “Resolvers method”) aimed first at exploring the interests and drivers of parties in conflict and determining whether or not they are compatible, in which case a “win-win” solution will be easily obtained. If the circumstances do not permit such an approach, he urges cooperation for the purpose of satisfying the parties’ respective interests. Only when successful cooperation is not possible does he turn to distributive bargaining and, if need be, alternative to a negotiated resolution.

Garby’s preferred techniques in mediation reflect these abiding concerns. His favored approaches to pre-mediation preparation, the agenda for joint sessions, and the interplay between mediator, lawyers and parties are all geared to avoiding anchored positions while surfacing individual, organizational and/or relational interests and needs.

Our recent International Academy of Mediators/Straus Institute survey of experienced mediators underlines the fact that success in mediation may be based on widely varied styles and strategies; Thierry Garby’s process preferences are unlikely to be embraced by all mediators and advocates. That said, even mediators and counsel who find themselves regularly mired in the “hard slogging” of positional bargaining may still derive considerable, even potentially transformative, benefit from the host of insights regarding the real human drivers that underpin negotiation positions and concessions and serve as barriers to, or catalysts for, resolution.

Sartre memorably said, “Commitment is an act, not a word.” Thierry Garby’s active, decades-long engagement with negotiation and mediation has resulted in a book that reflects his active commitment to serving important human values. This very personal synthesis of all he has read, experienced and learned is a boon to all of us, regardless of our experience or orientation.

Thomas J. Stipanowich

William H. Webster Professor in Dispute Resolution

Pepperdine University School of Law

Academic Director, Straus Institute for

Dispute Resolution